So… getting happy…
Putting yourself on the map (much less first)…?
Actually doing something for yourself…?
That’s all well and good, but how is that even possible? I have kids, and a house, and a job, and a spouse, and cooking, and cleaning, and volunteering, and caring for sick family, and (insert your objection of choice here)…
I mean, really, where do I start? I mean, what is self-care? It sounds like some new-age mumbo jumbo for people with full-time nannies who do yoga 24/4.
Well, I’ve got news for you sista’; it’s not just for yoga-moms. It’s for everyone, and it’s vital to your health and happiness, as well as to the health and happiness of your kids.
And it goes a little something like this…
Side note: Ladies, I’m gonna talk to you like I do my sisters (and I have two amazing sisters and a cousin who counts as one too, so really it’s three), straight up…
YOU. MUST. PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST!
Period. End of discussion.
It’s not selfish or bad or evil or foolish or cruel. In fact it’s not only helping you, it’s actually helping your spouse and your children, not taking away from them.
So many mothers in this day and age give everything to our children (and the rest of the world) and nothing to ourselves. We say, “I’ll do xyz for myself when the children are walking, talking potty-trained, in school, in high school, in college, etc.,” but it never actually happens.
Think about it, you are the single biggest role model in your children’s lives and if you do nothing but give and give and give to appease them (and others), all the while making yourself miserable.
What do you think they will do, but grow up to give and give and give and put themselves last and make themselves miserable. Is that what you want for your children? I sincerely doubt it mama.
You see by giving them everything and doing everything for them you are actually teaching them that they can’t do anything right, that they can’t problem solve and that it’s a mother’s job to give 100% of herself and be unhappy.
But, I know you mama. I know what you really want more than anything in the world is for your children to be happy. I know you want your daughters to grow up and be happy, confident, thriving mothers and I know you want your sons to marry that type of woman, so you need to be that, model that.
Remember when your kids were little and you had to “model” appropriate behaviors for them? It’s the same thing, only on a much greater level.
You have already taught them to “use their words” and “chew with their mouth closed” and clean up their messes by DOING.
By you modeling that behavior, by you using your words and chewing with your mouth closed and cleaning up your mess they learned how to clean up theirs.
Well it’s the same thing mama – it’s time to treat yourself with respect so they will treat themselves with respect.
Want your kids to grow up as strong, happy, confident individuals, than BE a strong, happy, confident individual.
Where do you start, you ask… well you’ve come to the right place my friend.
Here are a few ideas to get you thinking on positive path to self care…
First, self-care, is nothing more than doing things that you desire to care for yourself; to honor and respect your wishes, your needs, your desires, dreams and goals.
Self care is different for everyone and it should be done daily. It doesn’t have to be huge, it can be as simple as waking up five minutes before everyone else to have your coffee in peace and quiet, or going for a walk, or a run, or getting your hair or nails done. It’s that thing in the back of your mind that you would love to do for yourself, but you always put off because someone else’s needs or the needs of the family are “more important.”Self care starts with honoring yourself. Click To Tweet
Self care starts with honoring yourself. Know that you ARE worthy and you ARE worth it. You were put here for a reason and you have big things to do in this world, so start acting like it. There is only one, and will only ever be one YOU in the entire universe, so show us what you got. It may be to be the best mother you can be and it may be to create an empire, both are equally important and both are vital to the happiness of the person who posses those goals.
Need some ideas to start honoring the amazing, fabulous you that you are? Let’s start with one uber simple, but too often overlooked idea…
You know that voice in your head that is constantly telling yourself that you are bad because you ate xyz, or that you are aren’t good enough, smart enough, cool enough, nice enough…yeah, her. Well, lets mute her once and for all! She knows NOTHING and has NO right taking up space in your fabulous mind.
Now that you have the tools to move into positive self talk and you know that you need to do self-care daily (remember, little things – be realistic…), here are a few ideas to get your self care started:
- Making your bed
- Cleaning your bedroom
- Waking up before the rest of the house to have quiet time before the day starts
- Working out
- Reading a book
- Making a healthy meal, rather than ordering take-out
- Drink lemon water in the am
- Drink something green to start your day (smoothie or juice)
- Take a 5 minute dance break
- Take a walk in nature
- Drink 8 – 8 oz. glasses of water/day
- Get out of your yoga pants and wear something that makes you feel beautiful
- Get your hair done
- Clean your house
- Organize a closet/drawer, etc (you will feel amazingly lighter)
- Get your car washed
- Call a friend you miss
- Write a note to someone you care about telling them how much you appreciate them
- Take the time to color with your kids
- Play a new sport, or pick up a sport you used to love
When you start to do the little things, the happiness will come back in and slowly, but surely you will find your happiness again. Those things that you loved to do long ago, will slowly start to pop up again.
Finding gratitude and happiness in the little things will ultimately bring back the joy and ignite the spark in you.
It’s amazing how good you will feel from something as simple as making your bed in the morning. Caring for yourself enough to make your bed and having a beautiful bed to get back into at night is such a simple thing, but it goes so far in showing yourself and others that you are worth it.
So, go, do something that makes you happy, I promise you won’t regret it. Let me know what it was in the comments below, I love learning from other mamas.