I ran a marathon and then…

Nothing happened.  

Yup, you hear me..

nothing

nada

zip

zilch

zero!

Not a good gosh darn thing actually happened.

IMG_0860

 

Prior to completing my marathon (a few years back), I had actually trained for (and been injured) for 6 other marathons and I had rehearsed what I would feel like when I finished said marathon over and over for what felt like a million times.  And each time it was my earth-shattering, life-altering, “Rocky” moment.

You know – the heavens opened and the angels sang and suddenly was 3 sizes small, wrinkle free, ripped abs, the perfect wife, the perfect mother and all of the issues in my life would magically go away.

 

I had visualized this scene over and over in my mind hundreds of times.  So many times infact that I could describe every single detail of that Rocky scene.  

I knew how it would end – and it was nothing short of perfection (I mean I would have ripped abs, remember?).

Unfortunately, none of those things happened… not one.

The only thing that happened was that I was tired, damn tired…  So tired in fact that my poor sister had to literally peel the clothes off my body before I got in the bath (well, to be factual, she actually placed me in it).

But, I digress…

As I actually crossed the finish line that day, with the rain still pouring down (as it had for all of the 26.2 miles), my family and friends there to support me, two of my three kids holding my hands, the heat of the asphalt against my feet, the smell of the ocean, the crowd of people waiting to hand out medals (ok, who are we kidding, there was like one guy left handing out medals, but you get my drift), the medal that I had coveted for so long was finally placed around my neck and then… I felt a 30 second flash of accomplishment.  

A thrill of accomplishment like no other.   

I had done it, I had actually completed 26.2 miles.  Something that I spent almost ten years trying to accomplish.  Something that no one could take away from me.  Something that I could wear as a badge of honor, and then I realized…

It was still raining, there was no crowd of onlookers, there was no three sizes smaller, there was no ripped abs, there was no life altering anything.  I was just the same old me, only tired, wet and cold.

IMG_0863I felt tired, I felt wet, I felt frustrated that I didn’t run faster, that I didn’t train harder, that I didn’t eat only egg whites and sprouts while training, that I just plain old didn’t.

What I wanted to feel was amazing and accomplished and fit and powerful.  I wanted to stand taller and be prouder than I’ve ever been and I wanted to feel like I was a finisher not a failure, but I didn’t feel or have any of that,  I just felt… tired.

So often we seek the feelings that we want to feel from some external source.  For me, I wanted to feel strong and powerful and a finisher and fit and XYZ, but instead of just deciding to feel them right then and there, I sought some external source to give me those feelings. And that external source was a marathon.   

And as Glinda the Good Witch says:

“You’ve always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”

IMG_0857I already was those things, had those feelings inside of me.  I just kept telling myself that if I did xyz, I would “earn” the right to own those feelings.  Which is nothing short of crazy-train!

You already have every single thing/feeling you seek inside of you right now  – so go ahead and own them.  

Do you want to feel fit – well first list out what “fit” means to you. And then list out what physical feelings will you feel when you are “fit” and why do you want to feel those feelings?

Then start feeling them TODAY.  Right now.  Don’t wait.  Feelings are feelings and they don’t magically appear only after you’ve mastered X or accomplished Y, you already have them – you just need to claim them.

Why do we seek external validation in a goal, course, achievement to feel a certain way when we can simply choose to feel that way right now?

Girl – let me tell you something – you are everything you want to feel RIGHT NOW.  

You are strong.

You are powerful.

You are brave.

You are beautiful.

You are happy.

You are kind.

You are talented.

You are a great mother/sister/daughter/wife/friend/human just as you are.

You are AMAZING, today, right now without changing a single thing.

Choose to feel the way you want to feel now, because that’s the way the rest of us see you. Click To Tweet

Quick side story…

This past weekend was the Maine marathon, the same race that I ran three years ago.  About five and a half hours after the race, they began to open the roads again despite the fact that there were still a few runners still on the course.  

I was out with my youngest daughter running some errands and as I drove down the course about a quarter mile from the finish line, I spotted a woman running with a race number still on.  She was probably 5’6” and 200 pounds.  She had a friend on either side of her cheering her on while she kept on running.  And she looked tired, I mean beat-down dead tired. Hunched over, head hung – exhausted.

I immediately started crying tears of pride and with those tears streaming down my face I slowed down, rolled down the window and yelled “You are amazing!  You’re doing it!  You’ve got this!  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!”  

Well – her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she immediately stood up taller, smiled brighter and picked up her pace.  In that moment she was all of those feelings.  She was brave and strong and amazing and beautiful and accomplished and a bad-ass.  

Sometimes we need that stranger yelling out the window to remind us that we ALREADY have everything we need, we just need to allow those feelings in and then own them like a Real House wife owns botox!

So my wish for you today, is to go own it.  Whatever “it” is that you have been seeking externally.  Know that you are amazing and that you already posses what you are seeking and that you, my friend, are amazing.

Do you seek external validation? If so, why and for what?  What’s your “marathon” story – your story of seeking a feeling you already posses through something external?  

Let me know in the comments below, I love learning from other mamas.

XO,

Christina Neuner signature

 

 

 

We have all been her.  Felt like no one sees us or what we have done when in actuality, everyone else thinks that we are amazing and it is only us that feels we have failed… or haven’t done xyz.

No related posts.

Wanna have the healthiest kids on the playground?

Get free healthy tips, tools and inspiration to make your family the healthiest family you know!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *