No one ever tells you that parenting is hard.
I mean sure, they tell you it’s amazing and beautiful and babies are adorable, but do they ever tell you about the cholicy baby that literally cries 20 hours a day; the maternity clothes that you’ll wear for a solid year after you have the baby (maybe more, maybe less); the days when you lock yourself in the bathroom and cry from the sheer overwhelm that is motherhood, or the moments when you wonder if you can literally make it through one more minute of cooking and cleaning and diapers and time-outs?
Why don’t we talk about the truth? Why aren’t we honest? Why are the hard parts always a secret?
I remember calling good friends of ours when our first child was about a week old and both my husband and I just crying on the phone. We were exhausted and frustrated and sad and fully defeated. We called our one of few friends with kids and said “What do we do? She’s crying all the time, we’re exhausted and there’s no end in sight!”
And what did our wonderful, amazing friends say to us? They simply laughed… and laughed and laughed and laughed and their only advice was “Welcome to the club!”
Which made us cry even more. At the time it felt hopeless and like I would never sleep a full eight hours again, much less shower or wear cute, non-maternity clothes.
But then, the next day with a tiny bit more sleep than the night before, we called the same friends and they told us the truth. Lots and lots of truths. The good, the bad and the ugly. And you know what, we were no longer alone. We were able to say “Me too.”
In reality, that’s what we all need…a little Me too. Knowing that we are not alone. Knowing that someone else is going through or has gone through what we are going through makes all the difference in the world.
So why don’t we talk about the hard parts? Why don’t we show our true selves and our real life? Why isn’t it socially acceptable to ask for help? Why isn’t it ok to admit that life is hard sometimes (and by hard I mean so-freakin’-hard)?
I think its time.
I’ll go first…
I’m a mom of three who loves my life and at the same time, sometimes the days at home with kids are so long they feel like they will never end.
I have goals and dreams of my own that have been put on the back-burner for years because I thought that putting my kids and my family first was the “right thing” to do. But, I now know that if I don’t follow my dreams my family and my kids will suffer, so daily I strive to do both and it’s hard, really hard. And the mom-guilt is incredible.
I need to ask for help more and I need to say yes less. I need to do less and be ok with it. I need to be more honest and more real and more me.
So, today, here I am being honest and it feels amazing. Hiding who we really are and what we really think is suffocating. And today I choose to breath…
Will you breath with me?
Lemme know in the comments below how you choose to breath today.