Are you sick of the “New Year, New You” message?

new year new you

I am.  

Seriously. Over. It.

Everywhere I look it’s all about diet – even Oprah (who I frankly never thought would go there, did. And she’s happy, so who am I to judge, right?).

My social media feed is filled with it, magazines, newspaper, commercials, blog posts, everything, everywhere,




What the HULA?!

Can a mama get a break?

Just a hot second to reevaluate herself before her daughter’s start asking her why everyone is on a diet?

I mean come oooooooon people?!

What’s a mama supposed to do when their little beautiful, impressionable girls are asking why there are so many women in bikinis saying that they are finally pretty and happy every time they turn on the tv?

So now my ten year old daughter, who already hears the thigh-gap, bikini-body massage 24/7, feels like she needs to be on a diet too?!


A new year is supposed to be about fresh starts, a blank page and grand intentions for what we want our lives to be.  

A new year is supposed to be about fresh starts. Click To Tweet

It’s about the first page of a 365 page book and thinking through the story.  Who are the characters?  What are they like?  What are their goals, their passions, their interests, their deepest desires and writing a story for them, about them.

It’s about knowing who their character is.  Making a full avatar of that character – their personality traits, likes and dislikes, physical characteristics, style, career, interests, likes and dislikes.

And then realizing that that person is YOU and that YOU get to be anyone that YOU want to be this year.

And now that you have laid out this perfect heroine in your story, you know who she is and how she wants to feel.

And centering your year around that that amazing woman and all of who she is,  is how you get to the real you.  Who you really want to be.  How you really want to feel.

And just how do you want to feel?

Do you even know?  

For years I didn’t…

In talking to so many women, this is often a conversation I have when we first work together:

Me: “Why are you here?”

Them: “I want to lose weight and eat clean.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “So I can set a better example for my kids.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I want them to be proud of me.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: Because I don’t want to be the fat mom.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I want people to like me.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I want my spouse to find me attractive.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I’ve had babies and I have saggy boobs and stretch marks.”

Me: “Ok, so do I, but why does that matter?”

Them: “Because I want to feel pretty.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I want to fit into my skinny clothes.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I want to feel attractive.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I want to feel confident.”

Me: “Why?”

Them: “Because I just want to be happy.”

Me:  “Ahhhhhhhh… now we are getting somewhere. 

Tell me why you want to “lose weight.”

What does the YOU 20, 30 or 50 or 100 pounds lighter look like, act like?”

Them:  “She’s pretty and fun and outgoing and confident and happy.  She and her husband have a great relationship and she is so relaxed and present.  Her kids look up to her and they have so much fun together.

She holds her head high and people naturally are drawn to her.  She is the cutest dresser! She goes for what she wants and gets it.  She has an active social life and tries new activities all the time. Paddle boarding, painting, yoga.  She’s always up for something new.

She is just happy.  She…”

Me:  “So what is the difference between her and you right now…?”

Them: “Well…ummmm…”

Me: “ There is only one difference between you and her girlfriend… your dress size.  

Other than that you can be, do, have alllllll of those things right now.

It’s a choice and you can choose to feel and you can choose to feel that way, right now, today.

You see, it’s not about the food, it’s never about the food.

It’s not about the dress size, or the number on the scale, it’s about you and how you want to feel. And then choosing to feel it.

Cut the tags off your clothes, trash the scale and go by how you want to feel.  And start to feel those feelings NOW.”

You see, being happy and choosing your happiness now is the only choice you have to make.  The rest is easy.  It’s about taking small steps to help you do and feel all of those things that the size 2 you does/is/has/feels.

Take a minute and really think about the mama you want to be, the woman you hold on a pedestal in the size 2 and literally write out who she is.

Once you get to know her you can start to make small, simple choices everyday to get you closer and closer to her – without ever stepping foot on a scale.

So, go, write out your character (heck – even make a Pinterest board of her!) find out who she is, who you really are and start acting like it, today.  Because your happiness shouldn’t be decided by a number on a scale or a tiny, little tag on the back of your jeans made in china.  

After all, who died and made that tiny, little tag the gatekeeper to your happiness?

What does your character look like?  Feel like?  I’d love to know!  Lemme know in the comments below.


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